


No Longer King

by xUnivxrse



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecurity, M/M, The feels, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-01 20:01:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15150770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xUnivxrse/pseuds/xUnivxrse
Summary: Frustrated and insecure over a bad practice session, Hinata finally explodes when a certain blue eyed crow pushes him too far - and in doing so, he accidentally exploits the one thing Kageyama could truly say he fears the most.(or: angst, fluff, and forgiveness, all neatly rolled into one)





	No Longer King

**Author's Note:**

> this was beta’d by the lovely [RTrash](https://archiveofourown.org/users/RTrash/pseuds/RTrash)  
> a special thanks goes out to her, because the story would’ve been a lot worse without her help! <33

Hinata was the sun. He was bright and happy and exuberant - and most of all, proud of himself. He was pulling his weight in this team - his team, his very first actual team - and the fact that he was standing as an equal on a court with amazing players like Kageyama had him puffing out his chest and flashing a brilliant smile. He felt like he was at the top of the world - like he was at the highest point in his entire life.

 

...some days, though, Hinata didn't feel like smiling.

 

Yes, the carrot head knew that without out lows he wouldn't have any highs, and yeah, he knew no one was perfect, but on days like today, he couldn't help but doubt if all of his skill in volleyball was just dumb luck. Logically, he knew it wasn't, and that in fact he was fairly good at the sport, but when he wasn't moving fast enough to hit the ball just right, when his sneakers seemed just that little bit more slippery on the gym floor, when all the progress he had made toward mastering receives slid down the drain, Hinata sometimes just couldn't muster up the will to be all bright and happy anymore.

 

So that's why - after taking numerous serves to the head and just barely grazing the ball with his fingertips one too many times - Shouyou's feet were dragging on the ground, his sneakers making some sort of sad squeaking noise. The ginger thought it suited his mood well.

 

Of course, everyone on the team was being supportive and telling Hinata to just give it one more shot, telling him that everyone had off days and even he was no different, but Kageyama had still hurled his stupid little insults, like always. Words that - most of the time - held no fire behind them, Shouyou knew. He knew, but...

 

Today, those innocent little teases were hitting just a bit too close to home, and in the ginger's frustration he mistook their meaning for something far more than the harmless, friendly jabs everyone on the team knew they really were. This went on until the end of practice, when he finally exploded after a harmless, almost worried remark of 'what was with you today, dumbass?'

 

“You know, sometimes we commoners have our off days. Not everyone can be like you - we're not perfect all the time, _King._ ”

 

The carrot top had spat out the words with such uncharacteristic venom that it had everyone in the room turning towards the commotion. They had expected the outburst to be coming from a certain beanpole of a blonde - but it was their little ray of sunshine who was lashing out this time, taking the wording straight out of Tsukishima's books.

 

When he realized what he had said, Hinata immediately slammed a hand over his mouth, for once too shocked to do anything, too shocked to even frantically blurt out apologies. Shouyou hoped to every god above that by some stroke of unimaginable luck, the raven haired boy before him had not heard the offensive statement - but it was too late. The damage had been done.

 

Kageyama's eyes had widened as he froze, a look of almost soul deep pain etching itself briefly across his features, but suddenly it wasn't even brief anymore because the king couldn't cover it up, not this time. As soon as the words registered completely, his breath hitched in shock. It stuttered and held there, not daring to come out even as his lungs screamed desperately for air.

 

He finally let out a small gasp, and the shine in the corner of his eyes was unmistakeable, even from a distance, and all Kageyama could do was glare to cover up his damned weakness, allowing his expression to morph into a dark scowl even though he had already been exposed. The raven spun, turning on his heels and storming out of the gym, walking as fast as he could without breaking into a sprint - he wasn't running away, no, just making a timely exit.

 

Hinata's hand fell limp to his side as he stood there, mouth agape, the sheer gravity of his words finally hitting him as horror carved itself into every single inch of his skin. His eyes tracked the fleeing form of his best friend, and he flinched almost violently when the loud thud of the slammed gym door echoed with a note of finality throughout the gym.

 

Everyone was frozen - all in a state of shock. And Hinata? He felt a sense of shame welling up from deep within, an infinite reserve of regret burying itself deep into his heart. It dug in with vicious claws that left his chest throbbing dramatically, almost as if he was slowly bleeding out. That's what it felt like, at least.

 

He had taken his anger, his shame, and directed it all at Kageyama's biggest insecurity - one that had shattered the setter, had left him on the ground like a crow with a broken wing, straining to fly again but never quite able to gather the strength to do so. Right as he'd been recovering, right as the ravenette  had found his courage and soured into the sky once more - his flock, his team, at his side, never to leave him again - Hinata had crashed into that wing, which was still fragile and needed more time to heal. He had crashed into that wing and watched as Kageyama fell, hurtling back towards the ground.

 

The rest of cleanup was quiet, a tense atmosphere clinging to the occupants of the room. Not even Suga approached Hinata, because there was nothing he could say. He couldn't go up and say 'it's okay, Hinata, you didn't mean it,' because in all honestly, the amount of spite that had accompanied the ginger's words made it hard to believe that was true. Even though Shouyou hadn't meant it, really, the heat of his anger and frustration pushed the words out with so much venom that it sounded real - and that was a problem.

 

 

**_____________**

 

 

Kageyama didn't get much sleep that night.

 

Sure, he's heard words like that before, and sure, they hadn't gotten to him nearly as bad as they did now, but Kageyama had a reason for his heartbreak. Even though he got things like that spouted at him by Tsukki every day, he knew the four eyed bastard didn't really mean anything by it; his tone held no malice whatsoever. It was only a tactic to get under Kageyama's skin, which admittedly worked sometimes, but number nine only ever responded in a 'stop provoking me' kind of way.

 

It wasn't the spite behind the words, either. The setter's old teammates had said things like just Hinata had, and in exactly the same tone. Sure, it hurt, admittedly a lot, but the real reason it hit him so deeply this time was not because of the words but more because of who _said_ them.

 

Hearing his best friend - no, his _only_ friend - say that to him, knowing full well the meaning behind the statement and still saying it like he believed it with every fiber of his being - _that_ ,  that is what hurt Kageyama so badly. He had thought Hinata was different, had thought that the shortie would stay by his side forever, especially when he was trying so hard to get rid of his old title, especially when he was going out of his way to be nice, to not be the ‘King of the Court,’ to prove himself worthy.

 

And now, sitting in a dark bedroom with his headed buried in a tear stained pillow, Kageyama had come to the heart wrenching conclusion that in reality, Hinata was just like everyone else at his old school - the spiker had never truly cared. His 'best friend' was going to leave him, because once the boy couldn't hit his special toss, once he couldn't play volleyball with Kageyama, the ginger had abandoned him. That's what hurt the most - realizing that Hinata loved Kageyama for his serve and nothing more, and once that serve was out of his reach, unable to be hit properly, the boy had lashed out. The spiker probably despised him just like the people who left him alone on the court - probably thought he deserved the name King and everything that came along with it.

 

 _This_ \- this was Kageyama's insecurities feeding wound up lies to him, but the setter couldn't even try to deny them, to convince himself that they weren't true, because every time he did, all he could see was the anger - dare he say hate? - dimming those golden eyes into a raging summer storm, and all Kageyama could hear was the spite in Hinata's normally cheerful voice as he turned on the blue eyed crow.

 

Kageyama had fallen prey to his insecurity long ago - had fallen the moment he stood alone on the court, an un-spiked ball bouncing on the floor behind him - and so now, he believed every lie he was being fed.

 

Kageyama barely slept that night, but when he did, he dreamt of blurred faces and abandoned balls, of people leaving him alone on the court and sending whispered insults at him around every corner; except this time, it wasn't his old team who had turned their backs on him.

 

...it was Hinata.

 

**_____________**

 

 

Kageyama avoided Karasuno's number ten - and everyone, to be honest - all day. By the time lunch rolled along, the raven haired crow was still only appearing as nothing more than a glimpse in the hallways, and when people turned to approach him, he was suddenly gone, headed to another class just like that.

 

Meanwhile, the short spiker spent all of his lunch period looking for the setter so that he could apologize, so that he could plead for Kageyama's forgiveness no matter what it took, so that this could be put behind them and they could go back to being best friends again.

 

Naturally, it wasn't that easy.

 

When Hinata - who still hadn't bothered to eat his lunch, deeming the search for Kageyama more important - finally found the setter, he was spotted immediately and with barely a glance, the blue eyed boy had turned tail and fled. Hinata bolted after him anyways, and just as he was about to reach him - at a flat out sprint by now - his shouting of Kageyama's name was interrupted by the almost hellish ring of the school bell. Lunch was over.

 

The tiny ginger debated following Kageyama anyways, but the setter had already disappeared into his home room. It was no good.

 

Hinata went into class hungry and disappointed, loathing himself for messing up so badly.

 

 

**_____________**

 

 

When Hinata ran as fast as he possibly could to practice, knowing Kageyama usually tried to get there early and hoping to catch the setter before they started, the ginger was thoroughly disappointed. One by one, his teammates trickled into the gym, hyped up and ready to play, but there was no Kageyama.

 

After a couple minutes of everyone else tossing balls around, just as Hinata was about to give up and start receiving himself, the raven haired prodigy slipped inside the gym, fashionably late - and Kageyama was never late.

 

Had he.. done it on purpose, just to avoid Hinata? The thought made the poor boy deflate. How was he going to apologize if he couldn't get anywhere near the setter?

 

Everyone turned their heads to stare, a thick tension in the room, and Kageyama defiantly kept his gaze down, avoiding everyone. Sugawara glanced around, noticing the tension immediately, and kept a cheery tone of voice, calling out with almost unnatural enthusiasm to start their drills. He had to keep the team's spirits up!

 

Nonetheless, everyone - besides Kageyama, of course - perked up. They all bowed with a synchronized cry of  'yes, sir!' and ran to their spots, though Tsukishima and Kageyama both moved almost reluctantly.

 

When they moved on from normal spikes to quicks, Kageyama didn't do anything special - he just did a normal quick as everyone ran up to hit it. Though in almost every practice, when it was Hinata's turn, they'd attempt their new and improved special quick. The boys needed to master it, after all - Kageyama needed to practice getting his ball to stop right at the height of Hinata's jump, and in turn the shortie needed to practice with open eyes so he could aim and hit the ball.

 

And so, Hinata ran up to the net at full speed, jumping as high as he could, waiting for that moment of impact. He could feel the thrill of the jump, the adrenaline coursing through his veins and the wind in his hair, and in just a split second the ball would be in front of him, smacking into the ground with a satisfying whoosh, he could see over the wall very clea—

 

—the ball wasn't there.

 

Hinata crashed into the net with an indignant screech, turning his head just in time to see the ball sail lazily past him, much slower than expected.

 

..it wasn't the new and improved minus-tempo quick, nor was it their old, directly-into-his-hand-toss; it was just a normal quick. Not anything special - it was the same set that everyone else on the team had gotten. Nothing more, nothing less.

 

And that? That really hurt - wasn't Hinata supposed to be Kageyama's secret weapon? Wasn't he special? Weren't they the dynamic duo?

 

Hinata fell from the net to the floor with a painful thud, and all eyes turned from him to Kageyama, shocked - but not really, after yesterday. Revenge was to be expected, though maybe not this extreme - the team needed their evolving quick for the upcoming tournament.

 

Knowing this, Daichi ran over to the group, though wary because of the previous days events, and, prepared for some sort of squabble, confronted the two. "What was that?"

 

He was hoping that maybe it was a one time thing, that he could talk Kageyama into trying the quick again, for the good of the team. The setter hadn't refused to toss to Hinata since their first few days of school, no matter how angry he was at the energetic ginger - so this was how the team knew that the fight was serious.

 

Kageyama stared straight at Daichi, and it was the first time anyone had gotten a really good look at him since he ran off yesterday. The King had huge, ugly bags under his slightly bloodshot eyes, which weren't their alert, midnight blue anymore. They were a dull, lifeless black; without their shine, they looked almost... dead. Daichi fought the impulsive urge to take a step back - Kageyama’s run down appearance was shocking, and the captain couldn't stand seeing any of his teammates like that.

 

"It was a quick, sir, the same as everyone else's. I don't know why the dumbass couldn't hit it." Kageyama answered bluntly, a hint of defiance lacing his tone.

 

Hinata piped up, angry now - how could Kageyama even think about neglecting their training? How could he act like everything was fine? "I couldn't hit it because we never do normal quicks! We're supposed to practice our special one, you know that!"

 

All Kageyama did was direct his gaze to the carrot top, but that single look spoke millions. The little ray of sunshine slowly dimmed again as familiar guilt settled deep into the pit of his stomach, replacing all of his previous fire. Kageyama - he looked horrible, like he hadn't even gotten a wink of sleep last night... and it was Hinata's fault, wasn't it?

 

"Hey, how about we try that again? You guys can do your move this time. It'll be fun!" Suga stepped in, placing himself between the two boys and raising his hands in a symbol of peace, before smiling and gesturing in a 'let's go' kind of way.

 

"No."

 

"Wha—What?" Suga looked dumbfounded, staring straight up at Kageyama's sad, angry eyes. _He's not gonna—?_

 

Meanwhile, Daichi felt his expression settle into a dark, scary glare, frustration towards the situation bubbling up and intensifying - not even Kageyama had the excuse to talk back to their co-captain. Raising his voice and letting his face settle into a scary expression, Daichi loomed towards the setter. "What do you mean, _'no?'"_

 

Kageyama gulped - Daichi was always incredibly scary when provoked - but continued on anyways. Flashes ran through the King's mind, flashes of empty space behind him, of the ball bouncing untouched on the ground, of the almost visible rift between him and the teammates that abandoned him, and he roughly pushed the memories away before continuing on with newfound purpose. "I'm not doing the quick with him."

 

It was a statement that left no room for arguing. Even if Kageyama was feeling anything but confident, he was trying to hold himself up, trying to look strong and make the words mean something - it didn't matter if he felt like shit. He had to make that statement work, because all he really wanted was to get out of there, to get away and - and what? _Cry?_ He didn't have an excuse to leave, but he couldn't look at Hinata without wanting to scream, to punch something, to break down. So Kageyama turned, his shoulders hunched even though he was trying so hard to be strong, and left without a backwards glance.

 

 

**______________**

 

 

Hinata had fled the gym only moments after Kageyama had stormed out, fighting desperately with the captains to let him leave, and when they said no, he eventually just ended up running away anyways.

 

He was currently racing after his setter at top speed, going so fast that when he reached Kageyama and grabbed his shirt sleeve, he accidentally spun the startled ravenette all the way around, in a complete one-eighty.

 

_"Huh—?"_

 

"Kag–Kageyama!" Hinata got out between pants, heaving for breath as he gazed up at the tall boy.

 

 _Even looking like he does now, he sure is beautiful,_ Hinata thought briefly, and it was clear to see why.

 

The sun was just dipping below the horizon, casting a molten glow across everyone and everything in its path. The light hit Kageyama gloriously, hiding his bags just a little and turning his skin golden. The shine had spread and reflected across his smooth, silky hair, making it shimmer - a beautiful, almost dangerous mix of onyx and copper. His eyes, too, had forcibly regained some of their glow, though maybe it was because the sun was forcing out the color, but still - it was breathtakingly gorgeous. There were so many shades of blue, ranging from midnight black to a grayish azure. Flecks of more pure, honest blues appeared as well - cerulean spots gathered in that bright gray color, only now brought to life by the sun. Hinata swore he could get lost in those eyes. 

 

Shouyou mentally scolded himself before he could get caught too deep in his feelings, and instead blurted out what he wanted to say - the ginger had sworn to himself that he wouldn't get distracted by Kageyama, as it could throw off his game, and now was no exception to that rule. "I'm so sorr—!"

 

 _"—No,"_ Kageyama got out through gritted teeth, completely cutting the smaller boy off. "you're not."

 

Taking a deep, shuddering breath, he continued on.

 

"You - if you didn't think that way of me, it wouldn't of been the first insult that came to mind. And - and it really hurts that you of all people feel that way, because you told me you were—" He broke off, collected himself, and started again, a tremor in his voice. "You told me you were always going to be there for me, and I believed you... I — I trusted you, and it turns out that you—that you—"

 

Kageyama's voice broke halfway through, and he looked away, his trembling hands clenching into fists as he shook, trying desperately to keep composed.

 

"Kageyama—" Hinata spoke up, taking a worried, tentative step forward.

 

"No! Let me finish!" Kageyama roared, his temper fluctuating with his emotions, rolling along like waves.

 

"It hurts! It hurts because you're the same as everyone else who left me, and you only put up with me because you _have_ to - you hate me!"

 

"Kageyama, I don't—" Hinata butt in weakly, but the setter just glared back angrily, his eyes wet.

 

"And - and I don't want to do our quick anymore because... because I'm afraid! I'm - I'm afraid that you're not going to be there to spike it, just like them." Kageyama's tone was shaky and weak, his voice cracking as he resisted the urge to cry. "You - you don't really enjoy me for - for _me_ , you just want my set, and if you can't hit it... then I'm _useless_ to you, and - and you'll move on!"

 

Hinata took one look at his friend and felt his heart break, felt it shatter into tiny little pieces. Kageyama was sniffling softly, trying not to draw attention to the very noticeable fact that he was on the verge of tears. His lips tensed up into a tight frown and trembled with the effort of suppressing his emotions. He looked horrible, to say the least, and the short middle blocker was the cause of it all.

 

Hinata’s eyes were aflame, meshing together in waves of brown and orange. Move on? The thought had never even crossed his mind. Leave? He wanted to stay by Kageyama’s side for as long as possible. He wouldn’t leave - no one in Karasuno would! So how could the setter think that..?

 

His gaze refocused onto the face in front of him, and Hinata gulped. That look _did not_ belong on Tobio Kageyama. The spiker decided then and there that he didn’t want to see his best friend wear that kind of expression ever again. Just looking at it made him lose his grip on his emotions; his sadness and anger and frustration all roared to the surface, and before he knew it, fat tears were rolling down his cheeks. They streamed in ugly rivulets, and the ginger choked on a sob.

 

“Kageyama, I _am_ sorry! I mean it, I really mean it, you idiot!” Hinata yelled. The ginger was struggling to keep his voice under control, and failing miserably. In his frustration, he jumped forward and clenched his hands around the fabric of Kageyama’s gym shirt. “I made a mistake. I - I was angry! I was angry and I took it out on you! I was being a jerk! You didn’t - you didn’t deserve any of that!

 

"And I wasn't lying when I said I'll be by your side! I'm always going to be by your side, even if you don't want me to be! I'm going to play volleyball with you forever - and not just volleyball! You're my best friend, and I don't like you just for your toss! I'll never let you be sad or abandon you because - because—" Hinata, whose voice had steadily risen to a shout throughout the ordeal, fought for breath. His own eyes were blurring with shed tears, and he wondered if he should just admit - if it would make the situation better, or worse. _"—because I love you!"_

 

Kageyama's world seemed to come to a stand still.

 

_Hinata.. loves him?_

 

All of his defenses shattered and crashed to the ground in an instant, and suddenly he had lunged forward - not that there was much room in between them in the first place - and slammed his arms tightly around the smaller boy, bending over so he could bury his face in the orange mop of hair. He allowed silent tears to finally spill over his cheekbones as he squeezed Hinata like there was no tomorrow.

 

Hinata, of course, squeezed back with just as much intensity. It felt safe there, in Kageyama's arms, his head pressed right up against the setter's strong, muscled chest, where he could hear the raven's heart beat thumping wildly.

 

"I love you too, dumbass." Kageyama choked out with a watery smile, and the words sent a short thrill through Hinata.

 

Sparks shooting down his spine, the ginger beamed into Kageyama's shirt and held on ever tighter, the sun bathing them both in warm gold as their pulses raced wildly, as their eyes shone with joy and tears, and suddenly, they knew that everything was going to turn out just fine.

 

They had each other, after all.

**Author's Note:**

> so this is my first fanfic here on ao3, and i’d love some opinions on it! thank you for reading <33


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